Game Killers' Game Knights 101: Beating the Mess

Like I wrote earlier, President Jon and I are going to share some tips and personal experience on beating the Game Killers. We're calling this series of posts Game Knights, because they're all about protecting your Game.

According to the Mess' Game Killer official intelligence file, some of his "favourite game-killing pastimes include fart lighting, throwing lawn furniture into the pool, and bringing up the time you spent $300 at a second-tier strip club.

How your Game is being Killed:

By association, The Mess makes you look like a sketchy guy. The type of guy that drives around on Halloween offering candy to little kids if they'll get in the car with him. The catch is that the Mess is usually a close friend that's otherwise a good guy.

How you can Protect your Game:

Like many other aspects of the game, prevention works best. Here, the trick is to avoid letting the Game Killer get in the way, by keeping the Mess distracted. Get some episodes of his favourite show, and let him know where the DVDs are. And the popcorn. And that there's at least 4 hours of video he's never seen. BEFORE you step up to the plate.

That way, the Mess doesn't get the opportunity to make you look like a pervert. At the same time, you avoid hurting your buddy's feelings.

Ideally, of course, the Mess isn't present at your place on Game Night to begin with.

Funny story:

A friend's game got killed by a Mess once. He and his girl were playing the game when the Mess, chilling close-by, let one of those moist, butt-flapping farts rip like he was launching an all out assault in some ridiculous video game.

It was a learning experience, and that particular Game Killer is no longer around on Game Night, because that's what a Game Knight's gotta do. (Incidentally, the same Game-Killer sadly later morphed into a Sensitivo and tried to steal the girl in question. He's no longer present in our circle, period.)

Beating the Game Killers

Eeverybody's met a Game Killer at some point or another in their life. So to help out, Jon and I will be writing a series on beating the Game Killers.

In case you didn't know, the modern Hello Girls dictionary of the English language defines a Game Killer as "A person who interferes with a guy's attempts to pick a girl up. One annoying motherf*. Synonymous with a cockblocker (one who blocks cock)."

Boys' Night Poker Story

Jon hosted myself and some of our fellow Presidents at his house for a good old fashioned boys night, with poker, drinks, etc.

After a half hour, the two so-so players were knocked out. The struggle that followed between 'the final four' (big whup, there were six of us at the start) lasted incredibly long, as 'WillelePrez?' kept taking Jon's chips, as Jon, myself and another friend traded chips in hand after uneventful hand.

Jon's aggressive play eventually knocked 'Willeleprez?' out, bringing us down to three. At that point, our other friend got impatient and busted. Big relief for yours truly, as I was worried about getting knocked out before that friend.

So for the next few hands Jon and I traded chips, with me gradually gaining... until Jon called me all in pre-flop (we were playing Texas Hold'Em). I figured with my A2 suited diamonds I was as good as it was going to get. Otherwise, Jon might have kept calling me all-in and I'd have to go in on worse hands. The ace came up - for both of us as it turned out - along with two other diamonds.

So Jon beat me with his high-card nine. I'll admit that overall, he's a better poker player (I still have trouble being aggressive). Meh, big deal. The girls still like me better ;).

Traditional girls

You need to try and find out what kind of girl the girl you’re going for is. This will tell you how to approach her and make it much easier to get her. For example an outgoing girl would want to go on a fun date. The typical restaurant and movie is always a safe yet sometimes boring option which would probably appeal to a traditional girl more. You might want to take a fun girl dancing, not clubbing but dancing. You might want to take her to dance salsa or bowling.

To find out what kind of girl she is you need to get to know her a bit speak to her on the phone and LET HER TALK listen to enough to have another question or subject to continue with once she finishes talking. A traditional girl usually wouldn’t smoke she might not believe in sex before marriage. Family and school will be very important to them and they will usually looooove kids. Also she will act feminine, she will be very proper. You want to take it slow with this girl and never under ANY circumstance pressure her sexually. You want to take her to the restaurant and make sure she feels comfortable. You might want to compliment her a lot, do not overdo it though. You impress this girl by being a gentleman. Pay for her wherever you go and don’t be afraid to insist as she will usually pretend you shouldn’t and that she doesn’t want or expect you to. Corny comments can always bring a smile to their faces and you have to drop them off and look into their eyes before deciding whether to try and kiss them or not. If yoou catch eyes and are holding each other: you can go the 90%.

Visit my blog another time for posting on other types of girls.

Game Killers: Recognize the Evil

Game Killers are those people who routinely make the greatest of efforts to stop a guy getting with a girl. Around here in Montreal, the evil practice is known as c***blocking, which you'll agree is a pretty self-explanatory name. Of course, Axe had to be politically correct, so their marketing team renamed the CBers the Game Killers. It's a great, funny campaign, and quite possibly educational!